Has anyone ever wondered why nearly fifty percent of all American marriages end in divorce? I’m sure there are a lot of factors. For instance, our fast paced world doesn’t make relationships the easiest thing. There is temptation everywhere and social media has made it easier to reunite with people from your past, and in your future. To me, I think that those are all tiny factors in a much more interesting theory of mine. That is independence.
Very long ago, in a time that seemed like another world, marriage ment financial stability for women. It seemed like the only way for a woman to survive in this world. Likewise, men did not know how to live alone. marriages didn’t stay together because people loved each other more, they stayed together for survival. That is why, in my opinion, the rising in divorce rates does not equal the downfall of our society, but rather, society’s rise.
For instance, out of 2,390 students enrolled at DePauw University, 56% of them were women, and 44% of the students were men. Clearly, women are no longer depending on men for financial stability. We are educated, powerful and strong. This trend is not only at DePauw University, but most institutions of higher learning. I would have to say that out of hundreds of college brochures that I received, the women that were enrolled out numbered the amount of men. Women no longer need men, leaving the only reason to get married as a want thing. In the words of Gloria Steinem, “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Umijo, Kenya proved this fact very well. It is a women’s only village and a safe haven for women who were forced into unwanted marriages and rape survivors. Rebecca Lolosoli, the founder of the village, tells women that they do not need to be forced into marriage. They are safe and free in a village of their own.
Likewise, men don’t need women for survival. They can cook, clean, and are perfectly capable making lunches and changing diapers no thanks to condescending ad campaigns from paper towel and diaper companies. There is no need to marry someone to run the household. Even if some guys aren’t the best cooks or cleaners, they can hire someone to do that, buy t.v dinners, or take a class. In the same way that women can choose to either pay someone to do things that they aren’t the best at, like cooking, or cleaning, or learn how.
People are starting to live together before marriage and they are starting to wait longer before marriage. I think that this is reassuring the sanctity of marriage. No longer is it something to be taken lightly, or the be rushed into before becoming an old maid at the age of 22. It is something that is, or should be, based on love, and only love. Then, when the love is gone, people (most of the time) leave and try to find love somewhere else.
Of course, there are those people that hold society back. I’m talking about grown women who can’t live on their own for more than a few months without a man to support her financially. And I’m talking about men that rely on women to do their housework and to cook. Our jobs, as NotYourCoffeeBitches, is to spread the word of independence to a select few in the western world, but more importantly, those in the developing world. They are the ones who need a hand. They need educated to become independent and they need our help doing it. Watch Half They Sky and then visit www.halftheskymovement.org to donate. I dare you to not be inspired.
Photo Credit: ivn.us