Please, whatever you might be doing, however important it might be, go to http://www.ChristWire.org. I have About.com’s page on Brazil to thank for leading me to this charlie-fox trot of a website. It covers everything from vajjazzling to steal your sons away from God, and why you should keep your husband away from black women. My right palm is having a hard time leaving my forehead (is face-palming a sin too?). Honestly, the more I read, the harder I laugh.
Let us start with christwire’s take on a sequined vagina, “…college female students are now ‘vajazzling” their private areas. They are adorning their erogenous suprapubic area with jewels, and then trying to tempt men to follow the sparkles right to a place where only the married belong.” The rest of the article displays the “whore antics” of women who nature intended to stay at home.
My personal favorite post was related to the post “How Did Harry Potter Turn Emma Watson into a Devilwhore.” apparently Emma is taking her devilwhordum into a film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey, which is a “women’s lesbian film.” The article can be summed up into one direct quote, “we have just learned that Emma Watson has agreed to not only do all her scenes nude, but also let Anderson Cooper stick his Satan Scepter into her fertile sin hole, live on the movie screen.” I’m speechless.
Thankfully, ChristWire.org is much like “A Modest Proposal” because at face value it is horrific and repulsive, until the moment that you find out the whole thing was sarcastic. Then you feel like an ass for becoming so enraged. I praise the writers of ChristWire.org for exposing bigotry by agreeing with the bigots themselves. It is an interesting way to get your view-point across, but trust me when I say this satirical website is not for the faint of heart. The only reason that you have to become enraged with ChristWire.org is that some people will take these articles as a continuation of the Bible. If you find that person start running, especially if you hear banjos.